Side Chick by Choice

Dear BD

Is it wrong that I prefer guys in relationships than having my own? I like the perks of having a guy but I don’t like the other mess that comes with it if that makes sense.

7 Comments

  1. I think you should really do some soul searching to understand why it is you feel this way. What is it about single men that doesn’t appeal to you? Because you could have the same experiences with someone who isn’t already taken. Saying that you don’t want the responsibility of your own relationship is only scratching the surface. Are you a thrill seeker? Is there unresolved trauma from last relationships? By all means have your fun but keep in my mind, if you don’t address the underlying issues here, there could be greater consequences.

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  2. I don’t know what the thrill of wanting to be a side chick is? Does ANYONE believe in the sanctity of marriage anymore? Why do men and women risk destroying and devastating…. ( and passing out STDS) their partners and families over a side piece? What do you gain from it? Gifts..? You never get them when YOU want them, they never leave their wives..they won’t marry you…and they often will cheat on YOU. I’m just curious.

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  3. I don’t want to judge but it sounds like you’re trying to justify triflin behavior by saying you don’t want the mess of a relationship. If you want to be trife and sleep with taken men, that’s fine. Own it without trying to justify the action.

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  4. I’ll just say I understand because I use to feel the same. What I realized is, I really was on a power trip. I liked the fact that I could have whoever I wanted, no matter who they belonged to. I liked the benefits of a relationship without having to actually be in them. It also was a way of control. These men couldn’t hurt me, because they couldn’t cheat ON me. All I can say is you need to get to the root of why you feel this way. I’m not gonna blame you completely because guess what? The taken man obviously doesn’t respect HIS relationship.

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  5. Makes a lot of sense to me and you are not alone. Side chick can be a safe space, if done discreetly and as respectful as possible. Seems a little controversial to think of it this way, but in all actually it’s more common than it is not. However, being a side chick is not glamorous at all times.

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  6. I totally understand, it’s honestly the perks that make it so appealing. Most people (mostly women) will try and make it about your self esteem instead of about the men, but it’s really about having that sense of control. You can be adored, receive gifts and have your own time to focus on your goals. I would say tho that one day you have to be okay with lack of control, with being open to love and with self improvement and growth by 25yd because things will change. Make this a moment and time and then move on

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