Dear Boudoir Diary, I love receiving oral sex, but I’ve only had one partner do it right. The other partners I’ve been with are horrible at it, they latch onto my clit like a suction cup and refuse to let go.
I hate it, but when I try to tell them to ease up or change their technique they don’t really listen… How do I communicate to my partners that they’re not doing it right, or how do I find a partner that will actually listen to what I want?
I clenched when I read your first paragraph. Ow. Ow. OW.
This happens to me as well, and fixing it depends on your partner. If they are a good kisser, tell them to kiss it like they kiss your mouth. In some cases, I’ve tapped a guy on the head and said: “This isn’t comfortable”. In another, I have refused oral sex and then told them (after the fact) that the way they give me oral sex hurts me. It really does depend on the person, but I think it’s most important to be honest with them. It’s clear that they want to please you, but if they continue not to listen, you shouldn’t feel badly about cutting them loose. Sexual compatibility is important. It isn’t everything, but it’s important.
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Men typically suck at oral even when they think they don’t
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