Never Had An Orgasm

Dear Boudoir Diary, I’ve been dating my bf for about a year now and I’ve never orgasmed from anything we’ve done. I think a lot of it’s me (Fingering myself doesn’t even feel like anything). I don’t know what to do about this. Should I bring it up with a gynecologist? Is something wrong with me?

4 Comments

  1. Unfortunately you are not alone. Very few women are able to consistently orgasm during heterosexual intercourse. My suggestion is to EXPLORE EXPLORE EXPLORE. Try some things you’d never thought you’d try. Review some porn categories to see what sparks your interests. Engage your bf and find something new you both feel comfortable experimenting with. If you both are open to trying new things, you might find that you’re not the problem after all.

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  2. I was like that for a long time until like BoudoirMadamn “Explore”. Exploring really can open up you’re perspective of things. And think about where are you mentally before you get in the act. Sex is very spiritual/mental and if you’re not fully present and in the moment it can take away from a lot of the experience. At least that’s my opinion.

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  3. Hi,
    I used to have the same problem as you. I could have an orgasm with my bf or even by myself… I had no feeling whatsoever while masturbating and I feel guilty doing it. But one day I decided that I want to know what an orgasm feels like so I started my journey. As the previous comments said you should explore. So what I did is: listening or watching to more sex related content ( podcasts, YouTube videos, websites…) not porn but actual people talking about their struggles and sexuality. I really liked the ‘ How cum’ podcast. Listening to all this peoble talking openly about sex and masturbation makes it more and more a natural thing to hear about, talk about and eventually do.
    What I also did is actually see a therapist. I started seeing the therapist after month of listening to the podcast. Because at first I felt weird talking about sex to a stranger but really .. listening to that kind of podcasts made me subconsciously open to finally talk about it to someone and seek help. I realized I was not mentally open to sex and It felt like something I had to do more that something I wanted to do.. and that was the problem. So I worked on it with my therapist and I looked at and touched my self more. You know ? Because I realized I didn’t know my body like I should.
    So yeah this is what I did and it really helped I can finally masturbate without feeling weird or guilty or shameful… and I finally had an orgasm!
    Also If your issue is not mental but you just don’t know how to get there you can try the womanizer (worked for me). There is a lot of different things to do.. you might have a kink you don’t know about! So yeah open yourself mentally and explore as they said.
    What I also want to add is: you don’t have to have an orgasm… after trying and working on it you might find out that it’s just not gonna happen.. And that’s okay, everyone is different, don’t blame yourself or feel like a alien. The more important thing is self love !
    i wish the best for you!
    Ps: I’m French so excuse me if I did some mistakes.

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