How to Keep Living With an STD

Just some background to my question, I’m not sure if my story fits but here goes. I lost my virginity at 17 and kept that partner until I was 19(I’m now turning 20 in the summer). I frequently went to the doctor because of other problems that existed before I started having sex. I tested clean every time.

I then moved on to my second partner who was a friend first. After having sex with him a couple times I stopped self lubricating so to the doctors I went, to find out he gave me genital herpes AND hpv. Obviously I was crushed and devastated. I attempted suicide days after my diagnosis and again about a month later. I guess my question is how do I find my will to live again? I just don’t see the future I so desperately want with the diseases I’ll have for the rest of my life. Thanks in advance.

6 Comments

  1. It’s not a death sentence if you keep with your medication you’ll levels will be so low that it will be undetected. As for passing it wouldn’t happen unless an outbreak or super stressed out to give your self an out break. I had it for years now was able to have a baby naturally no issues and didn’t pass to him or other partners

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  2. First and foremost, we’re grateful that you are still here. And while you are dealing with something difficult, we want you to know you are loved and valued regardless. That said, there are lots of way to still have a full, rich sex life while dealing with chronic diseases. This Web MD article might be helpful in providing tips and tools for managing dating and relationships as you learn to adjust. As others have said, avoid sex during an outbreak and be mindful of stress.

    https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/dating-with-herpes#1

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  3. There’s so many people with std’s. It’s not your fault at all. Just for right now no saying try healing your mental health until you feel strong enough to put yourself safely back out there.

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  4. I’m so sorry that happened to you. First, your mental health is the most important thing, so as the person above me said, try healing that first. If you feel comfortable talking to someone, they are there to help you through this time and even after. You still matter and this won’t hinder your sex life or any other aspect. There are medications that help with this (which I’m sure you’re aware of). You can still have an active dating life and the right person will love you for who you are. I know it seems hard right now but it will get better. Thank you for sharing.

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  5. I, too, deal with HSV and automatically went into a dark depression with suicide attempts — the end of this summer will mark two years and I’ll say YOU’LL BE FINE. Yes, dating is hard, as I see it though you’ll be able to see who truly likes/loves you for you and not just want one thing. I appreciate these comments because I still struggle with not feeling loved or worthy. However, with a lot of praying, time for self care, finding myself all over again, amazing friends to keep me pushing — I look at life differently and it’s a beautiful thing honestly. I still have times where I wish I wasn’t here, yet I keep in mind this is the life I was created to live and there’s always sunshine after the rain. Peace & blessings to you

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  6. I’m sure that was very hurtful to find out. People are not always honest or open about their sexual history so it’s better to be safe and always use protection. Maybe talk to your doctor about relations with future partners etc. I hope this helps. And also, maybe you can talk to a trusted professional if you’re having those feelings.

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